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September 30th, 2006


01:55 am - Guitar Hero
OK my hand might feel rather warm around the wrist area but that doesn't matter. I finally got my 5 stars on Cowboys from Hell and got my Guitar God status on medium. The problem with the track was the problematic things were spread out nicely so you had to get them all right for a section to be able to get a consitant run of 4X score.

Either way YAY

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September 8th, 2006


02:22 pm
Another month another update... or something like that. Since i'm now employed and have been paid 'n' everything i have been finding myself.. well not busy per se, just not spending as much time lurking around online and finding something to post / moan about. Either way recently i've been on holiday to wales which was brilliant as ever, made better by my girlfriend joining us for the holiday.

The other thing i've done is cause injury after injury to my left hand. My middle and pinky finger feel sore at the middle joint when i compress the fingers and my wrist feels sore when i bend it to the extremes up and down, including using it to sit up or crawl etc. Caused by my game of the moment, guitar hero (actually the lastest batch of wrist pains came from my sister telling me how i *should* hold a guitar. I either got it wrong, needed to stretch before hand or she's stupid. The finger pains i believe came from my first grip which moved my fingers at that join far far more than i do now (conservation of movement is something i should have learnt earlier)). Guitar hero utterly rocks and i utterly rocked at it last night, completing both 'Cowboys from Hell' and 'Bark at the Moon' on expert in one sitting. It made me feel so awesome. And my hand doesn't appear to be too unhappy about it now, even if it did complain a litte at 5 in the morning, at the same time my stomach was telling me that cake was a bad idea.

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August 13th, 2006


09:24 pm
This weekend has been pretty good, we went to see both Lady in the Water and Cars at the cinema. We enjoyed both quite a bit. I also put my hand in some warm water for a while today and it's apparently fixed my hand problems, along with thinking about where my fingers should be going. This all means that i can play Guitar Hero again and make improvements on my score. ~:D

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August 10th, 2006


10:54 pm
Quite a bit has happened in the while that has passed since i last posted in here. I'm now actually employed and have achieved pay from a small software company in bath. I've been spending quite a bit of time playing Guitar Hero and have consequently made my left hand joints feel a little painful, i'm going to have to lay off for a while; can't quite play like i was two days ago. Things are good really, even if i am a little down right now that i can't play GH ~:P. I'm sure i can work myself up into writing in this more often again. Things can seem a little boring if i can't write something.

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June 17th, 2006


02:26 am
The past few days haven't been my best in terms of productivity. I have found myself mentally incapable of finishing any of the application forms going blank upon seeing any of them, or in the worst case having a panic attack. This is quite frankly really irritating. It makes it hard to be able to honestly consider something and leaves me feeling down for some time afterwards.

What i have managed though is cleaning out several rather dirty parts of the house, the sink is no longer blocked up with something that made me wretch with the smell; the george forman no longer strongly smells of bad sausage; the oven doesn't have the odd white stuff on the bottom and the hallway outside my room isn't black with dust. So in those regards i'm not doing to badly.

Game wise, well i've made some continuous progress with Frequency even when i'm sure that i can't achieve teh tracks i'm on at the level that i have to. Pity i can only play it well when i'm out of it, my mind gets in the way a little too much otherwise, you can't think, there's no time, you just do.

The reason for my productivity lull would be that my girlfriend is due here today and she's my motivation to get things done and her giving me a bit of a whupping is how i'm planning on getting things done. Someone behind me telling me to finish the forms is what i need really. I feel much better about myself when she's here as a bonus.

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June 14th, 2006


02:45 am
Today the one person who'd been keeping me sane left the house for good. I'm left with no one to talk with about games. This also means that there's no real person in the house during the day (WoW characters don't count). Naturally i spent most of the day feeling rather grumpy and bored. For this reason i've cleaned the top sticker off my old graphics card heatsink / fan, revealing the ATI original image instead of saphire's one; and i also spent about an hour cleaning the george foreman so my toastie would taste nice. I also managed to keep my coding work open and looked at for a while too. Progress. Anyway this evening has been interesting and funny due to the following links.

The history of oil a funny and revealing look at what oil means to the world

Consolevania 2.6 Brilliant as ever.

Let's Sexy English A speak english guide for the japanese that teaches a few important words

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June 12th, 2006


02:50 am
This weekend i've managed to achieve several completely pointless things. Firstly i had an entire day, sunday, when i didn't eat a thing. Having no lunch or breakfast and having saturdays dinner on saturday and sunday's today. I'm also sure i managed to drink nary a thing either. Secondly i have been wearing the same item of clothing, my pyjama bottoms all weekend, with my dressing gown while wandering around. It's been so warm that i've become quite lethargic in that department, amoungst others. Thirdly managing to survive on Grid Wars 2 (a geometry wars clone) for 59 minutes and racking up a 4 million point score (my previous best was 2 million and half an hour). Fourthly replaying and completing one of those games that i've 'doned' a rare event. Metroid Prime, in this instance, managed to entertain me as much as it originally did.

To balance out my pointless achievements i've also completed a few less pointless. Including form completion, clearning my room of 2 of the 3 piles of undone stuff and leaving the third lying around with only things to file in it. Filing things without a place to file them isn't easy though. Fill out online forms for job stuff, which i haven't been finding myself doing enough of.

As it stands i've obviously achieved more of the former but inside i have been trying to feel like i'm trying so eventually i'll believe myself and find it trivial to keep it up. Motivation is lacking and it's hard to drive myself. Next week doesn't look so friendly as there won't be someone to talk to during the day for half the week. Will that give me the push to work on programming tasks, or will i just rot online. Time will tell i guess.

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June 9th, 2006


03:32 am
Scattered about my room are piles of papers. Things that i should deal with, things i should have already dealt with and utter rubbish. But they like everything else just fades into the background in my mind. They are more or less scenery, scattered about with an aim of producing some life into the room. While a sterile environment devoid of such incidental details wouldn't be great it would be better if they weren't there and were dealt with. They like the small pile of incomplete games and half finished files of code are the reminants left behind by my rather large addiction. I am unquestionably addicted to the internet. It's a beast that takes up my time and my thoughts, and i don't even spend time on a wide variety of different websites. A few forums keep me busy, i injest opinions with rarely giving my own. I suppose i'm still under the subconscience idea that my opinion isn't required by anyone in particular and would be wrong. Reading these boards reminds me that there are other people in the world, which is in itself a comfort that keeps me from being worried. The posts i'm currently making here are an attempt to get more in tune with putting myself forward again without fear of backlash, for no one actually reads this or cares so i can pretend to be saying something.

When i'm comfortable again or hopefully before too long i'll be putting myself forward in regards to the forms and such that has to be sorted around my room. At which point i'll have to replace the strewned papers with clothing, something has to break up the flat boring surfaces. I mean i won't mind girls underwear scattered about the place. ~:P

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June 7th, 2006


06:57 pm
It's hot, the windows and doors are all wide open. Small attempts at a breeze are trying to cool the place down but it isn't quite as effective as i'd want it to be. The sky hasn't a cloud it's bright and blue and boring. Me, i'm bored and blue too. I can't quite summon the motivation to do anything of any practical worth, gaming included. I've watched movies and used the internet after waking up after midday. Waking up earlier isn't much of an option when i go to sleep so late. It's not the cool evening air that i'm enjoying; or a late night TV; i just find it really hard to go to sleep while my mind can think.

All my mind thinks of is failure and that's a hard thing to have ringing in your ear when you need some peace to get to sleep. During the day the hum of the computer keeps my mind off other things. My girlfriend tells me it's not all that bad and things will be fine in the end, but both of us are unsure of how or when things will change. Yet while she's with me i find there's a calm that makes things feel like the change is soon.

Even with outside influences pushing me to keep at the things i have to do, i still find myself bogged down. Letters and forms i need to deal with are scattered about the room, important and essential, but i can't steady myself enough to look at them at any of them. The internet is the one place i do things in at home: i read forums and news; listen to podcasts and watch videos, But without feeling i've done anything i can't be calm.

It's hot, the smell of a barbeque sifts in through the window, which reminds me i have to start cooking the meal i've got for myself.

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May 20th, 2006


04:13 pm
Having the internet down at home has really made me feel quite bad. This is due to the fact that without the internet i don't really have contact with other people as much as i'd like to. Yesterday ended up spending the entire time watching scrubs, which didn't do so well for my self esteem. The show being all about stepping up to the plate and achieving, which i haven't managed really not having a source on income is something that brings me down. Especially considering that i'm stuck at the doing something about finding jobs stage. *humph* The reason we don't have internet is because BT b0rked it up when we upgraded, so turned it off and haven't got back to turning it back on again, i've been waiting since last thursday. I've missed so many TV shows...

Gaming wise there's been E3 recently which was really entertaining. From the arm chair it appeared that the Wii managed to be the big winner of E3 but journalists said that the Xbox360 stuff really was rather good, and the Ps3 had some games. The latter of which was unseen by anyone not at the show. We only really got CGI trailers and assassins creed might sound really good but seeing just a trailer isn't going to convince me that it works. The Wii got the lines at E3 and sounds like it's going to be really really good fun, but the press aren't all convinced yet. Either way i know without money nothing is going to be happening. Especially with a £400 Ps3 w/o games.

Oh for jem : Shoes on roofs It's a consolevania thing and is quite awesome.

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